Some Things Time Can't Change
by Debilitate
Summary: One-Shot. Bella and Rosalie had been friends since they were kids but when Rose goes missing one night everything they've known changes. Time and unfortunate circumstances have torn them apart but now 80 years later and a chance meeting in Forks, Bella sees that her long lost friend might not be so lost anymore. Bella/Rosalie


_'Where is she?' I questioned to myself, searching frantically through the streets. My eyes never ceased their movement, always scanning the area, desperately looking for the flash of blonde hair that would rid me of the terrible fear that gripped my heart. "Rose?" I shouted into the air, half hoping she would shout back to me and half knowing that my search was in vain._

_"Rosalie? Rosalie!" I shouted into the empty streets of Rochester, New York, hating how my voice cracked through the abundance of fear. "Please, Rose!" I screamed again, no longer afraid to voice my sheer desperation, in the hopes that she would hear the tremor and come back to me. _

_She was my best friend and I loved her, I couldn't imagine going through life without her by my side or more accurately, me by her side. She was the more dominant of the two of us and I had no qualms with that; I enjoyed following her lead. If she led me to the depths of Hell I would have followed her with a smile on my face and her fingers intertwined with my own. _

_But now, the fear of losing her was twisting my stomach into knots, it was what had me running through the streets like a madman, my heart racing so fast it threatened to break free from my chest. _

_And just as I rounded the corner I saw it. _

_The puddle of blood and the remnants of torn fabric. My feet moved slowly, almost afraid to go near what I knew would confirm my suspicions and fears. _

_I bent down and fingered the fabric, noticing the familiar pattern and stitching, the blood soaking it doing nothing to dissuade my conclusion. "Oh Rosalie," I whispered into the air, my voice laden with the anguish that was tearing me apart like a savage beast desperately trying to claw its way out of me. _

_"Please don't leave me, Rose," I muttered to the wind, clutching the fabric between my fingers as I tried so desperately to keep from outright crying. _

_The sound of footsteps approaching had me running, dashing away from the scene and towards my home. Some part of me, however foolish, thought that she would be sitting on the bed in my room, a smirk on her face as she motioned theatrically towards her torn dress. 'Too much?' She would ask, her eyes shining with mirth as she waited for my response, knowing how she had a flair for the dramatics. _

_And I would smile because I could never see her smile or smirk without immediately feeling the need to mirror it. 'Perfect,' I would mutter shyly, my words directed both towards her and the over-the-top theatrics. _

_But when I walked up to my room, the bloodied fabric still clutched between my fingers, she wasn't there. _

_That night, I fell asleep for mere minutes at a time, always dreaming of her face in pain, her screams echoing in my ears and her hands clawing in the air as she tried to reach me but I was always just out of reach. I would run towards her, desperate to protect her but no matter how fast I ran, how hard I fought, she was always just out of my grasp. _

_The next few days passed so terribly slowly, the news of Rosalie's disappearance had broken by the next morning and no one had any idea what had happened to her. _

_Royce was suddenly the center of attention; everyone offering their condolences but I knew he had played some part in her disappearance. I saw the way he leered at her, how his grip was so possessive and filled with barely restrained anger. He loved and hated how beautiful she was, happy to have her on his arm but hating that others wanted her – that they so obviously lusted after her. The bruises that often adorned her perfect skin was a reminder of whom she belonged to, acting as a temporary collar that marked her as owned and made her savage owner known. _

_But as the days passed, his emotional distress over her absence seemed to disappear like wisps of smoke in the air; present for only a second before it was carried off in the wind. Three days was all it took for his drinking to increase and his advances on other women to become apparent and that was more than enough evidence to show how unworthy he was of my Rose and just how little he had cared for her. It didn't seem all that unlikely that he could kill her and act as though nothing had happened. _

_I didn't know if Rose was truly dead or maybe just in hiding for fear of Royce's actions should she reappear but until her body was found I would hold on to the hope that she was alive. And no matter what, I would find out. If need be, I would kill Royce to avenge her, to make sure her soul rested in peace and if she was by some miracle still alive, I would kill him to make sure she didn't spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder in fear that he would find her. _

_But when I left that evening to go confront him, I made the mistake of taking the secluded streets; not wanting anyone to see me or be able to prove I had been anywhere near Royce. _

_I made it just outside of where he was staying before a man no taller than six feet with long black hair tied neatly behind his head and a beautiful face with bright and glowing red eyes stopped me dead in my tracks. Fear settled into my bones and had me paralyzed and immobile as he moved slowly towards me. _

_His white teeth glistened in the moonlight, the ferocious and deadly smile only serving to increase my already rapid heartbeat. _

_"Fear not, Isabella," he purred into my ear just before his teeth sunk into my pale flesh and a searing pain overwhelmed my body. _

_I slumped against him, unable to hold my own weight as the fire like liquid spread through my veins. Just before my eyes slid shut, I heard screaming. It was a loud and piercing scream, one that to my shock, and that I quickly realized was not my own. I glanced to my left, my eyes just barely meeting the window of the room I knew Royce to be staying in and saw his shadow before it dropped unceremoniously out of sight. _

_The last coherent thought I had before I succumbed to the pain and pull of darkness was, 'Good, he got what he deserved.'_

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped opened as I stared at the empty room around, only faintly registering how lost I had allowed myself to become in my memories.<p>

Much of my human life was foggy at best but luckily and unluckily, my last few days as a human were seared into my brain. Though they weren't crystal clear, the eyes of my human self were nothing compared to those of my vampire ones, but still, the memories remained.

I was turned in 1933, just a little over three days after my best friend and crush, Rosalie, went missing. Today, I am technically, ninety-eight years old though I will forever be trapped in the body of an eighteen year old.

And while I no longer actively search for her, I hold on to the hope that Rosalie is somewhere out there, living the life I always knew she was destined to have—one of nothing but greatness.

'_Snap out of it Bella,_' I admonish myself, knowing that I can no longer remain stuck in the past and focused on a girl that long ago left my life. I've spent so many years harping on her and trying to find her that I've forgotten to live myself.

This is my first real chance at doing that.

It's why I chose a small, nowheresville town like Forks, Washington to try and blend in and make something of myself.

Today is supposed to be my first day of high school and hopefully will help me move on with my life and find something new worth living for.

* * *

><p>The school itself is exactly how I had pictured it, small and…quaint.<p>

The moment I stepped out of my beat up pick-up truck I knew everyone's eyes were on me. Whether it was because the behemoth of a vehicle I had chosen to drive was so loud that you could hear it a mile away or because I was the new student in a small town, I had yet to determine. Though I had a suspicion it was a combination of the two.

Just as I slung my bag over my shoulder and stepped foot into the empty hallways, my schedule clutched in my fingers, I was approached by a small Asian boy with shaggy black hair and eyes that could only be described as eager.

"I'm Eric, you must be Isabella, the new kid." His voice, a higher pitch than I had imagined for him, cracked slightly through his introduction but his eagerness never wavered.

Well, if I was planning on blending in, that was no longer a possibility. I guess new kids aren't all that common around here.

"Bella," I corrected, having grown to hate how my full name sounded. It never failed to remind me of my less than pleasant past.

"Well, Bella, need any help getting to your classes? Maybe an arm to hang on?" He waggled his eyebrows playfully, his grin on full display as he offered his bent elbow towards me.

I sighed and pushed his arm down, opting instead to hand over my schedule. "How about a tour guide; I'm afraid I'm not very good at being arm candy," I chuckled, glancing around the hallway as I fell into step beside Eric.

He snorted at my last comment but didn't say anything, his eyes darting up and down my figure as we walked. "So, where are you from?" He asked out of the blue, idly pointing out classrooms I would be going to as the day wore on.

"Arizona," I threw out, only half focused on the conversation.

"Ah, what I wouldn't give to be somewhere sunny," he said dreamily, a goofy smile on his face as he looked at me.

"I'm sure you would like it more than I did. I ended up with sunburn more times than I'd like to count," I joked back, pointing to my obviously pale skin; though there would never come a day when it would burn in the sun.

He winced sympathetically before stopping in front of a sparsely filled classroom. "Forks is the perfect place for you, then. We hardly ever get sunlight here, it's mostly rain, cloudy skies, rain, rain and more rain."

I smiled genuinely, weirdly enjoying his company, "So, I take it that it rains here a lot?"

Eric chuckled and pointed outside where it was just beginning to drizzle, the sounds of students clamoring in the halls growing steadily louder. "Yeah."

His eyes darted down the hallway before he turned his attention back towards me, "Well, this is your class. If I don't see you later, you should join me and my friends for lunch. You'll probably meet most of them during your classes anyway." With that he offered a small wave and disappeared into the growing crowd in the hallway.

I shook my head solemnly before walking into the classroom, unsure why I kept feeling like today wasn't going to be a good one.

* * *

><p>The beginning of my day proved to be uneventful; I had been forced to give the same introduction all morning in each class and the lessons were tedious at best. All-in-all, the morning was extremely unproductive and extraordinarily boring.<p>

On a lesser note, Eric had been right and I had been approached by several of his friends throughout the morning. Mike, a blonde boy with blue eyes and that all-American look about him seemed to flirt shamelessly with me despite the fact that he tended to stumble his way through it.

Jessica was a pretty brunette with dark brown hair and blue eyes, though her incessant harping for details about my previous whereabouts to no doubt use for future gossip was just plain annoying.

Angela was the better of the three, mainly because she was so shy and tended to blush more than she actually talked. She actually reminded me a little of myself before I turned. Her light brown hair and eyes, and that subtle beauty that often goes unnoticed. Plus she seemed to shy away from groups and was an obvious bookworm; two things we shared in common. I had no doubt that of the four I had met today, Angela would have been the person I would have gotten along with the best.

My deconstruction of their characters was cut short when I walked into the lunchroom and the entire place went eerily quiet. It reminded me of a lesson I had heard from a science teacher a handful of years ago, something about humans going quiet once every seven minutes, their conversations hitting a momentary lull as they quietly and unconsciously listened for danger.

Of course, I'm a predator and they're the prey so it only makes sense that they are aware of my presence and thus go quiet so as not to draw attention to themselves but I guess they don't know that I stopped hunting their kind a long time ago.

Now, if Bambi were around or maybe even Thumper, that would be a different story. But as it stands, they have no real reason to fear me, even if they don't realize it's me that they've suddenly gone quiet for.

But I digress, mostly because they're all still staring at me and it's a little unnerving. I'd say it's some strange combination of fear and the need to gawk at the new kid in town.

What really gets me though, is the way that the moment the lunch line clears out and everyone is sitting down, the back doors to the cafeteria swing open and a group of immortal teenagers just stroll through like they're in a movie and going in slow motion.

I'd be annoyed that I've somehow managed to pick the only town with a coven of teenage vampires attending the same high school as me if I weren't so in awe of their entrance. It's like they _wanted_ everyone to notice their presence so they would shy away or cower in fear.

"Those are the Cullens," Jessica offers up unnecessarily, her face hovering right near mine in a clear invasion of personal space.

"Uh-huh," I offer noncommittally, wanting to end her explanation and keep from drawing attention to myself.

Of course, Jessica doesn't seem to pick up on that cue because she keeps on explaining as though I asked her to. "That burly one on the left, with the black hair and huge muscles, that's Emmett. The blonde guy next to him who looks like he has cramps or something is Jasper. The little spiky haired girl next to him, that's his girlfriend Alice. She's a total freak, but whatever."

My silence does nothing to keep her from rambling on so I'm forced to sit there and listen to her introduce each Cullen and note her obvious jealousy as she does so.

"The gorgeous bronze haired guy, that's Edward, but I wouldn't try anything with him because he doesn't date any of the girls here. I think he might be gay but, like, who knows now and days, right?" She doesn't even look at me as she asks but I shrug anyways, even though she clearly can't see me.

"And the tall bitchy looking blonde is Rosalie, but I'd stay away from her because one time Lauren Mallory tried to talk crap to her and the next we heard, they were shipping Lauren off to like, Cuba or something because she went crazy or something."

Somehow I doubt that but I'm definitely not going to interrupt her and have her start this longwinded explanation all over again.

"But the really freaky part is, is that they're all like siblings. Doctor Cullen and his wife totally adopted them all but they're like, together together. And that's like incest or something. Totally gross."

"I thought only Alice and Jasper were together?" I questioned, not at all caring that they were dating seeing as how they were unrelated and all vampires.

"Well, yeah but I'm pretty sure Edward and Emmett are like a thing. Why else would they avoid dating any of the girls here?" Jessica asked as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, her eyebrow hitched in challenge.

I shrugged, unwilling to argue this asinine point. I was about to drop the subject when I got a better look at the blonde on the other side of the cafeteria and the name Jessica muttered earlier finally sank in.

"Wait, what did you say the blonde's name was again?" I didn't even bother trying to keep the shock and hope from my voice, my eyes never leaving the blonde vampire, fearing that the moment I looked away she would disappear like she did all those years ago.

"Rosalie Hale," Jessica offered hesitantly, looking at me strangely as I openly stared at the blonde.

"Rosalie Hale," I repeated, saying her name with a reverence that seemed completely absurd, even to me.

The second her name left my lips her head whipped in my directed and she looked me dead in the eyes.

She looked even more beautiful than I remembered and it took everything in me not to stand from my seat and run towards her, to embrace the person I had thought I lost. Finally, after decades of searching, of wondering what had happened to her, I had _found _her.

And just as I was giving up my search, no less!

"Rosalie?" I questioned quieter, in a voice so quiet that only another vampire would be able to pick up on it. I sounded pathetically hopeful but I was pleasantly surprised see her head nod ever so slightly before my name tumbled from her perfectly plump and pink lips.

"Isabella?" The name caused me to cringe internally but I nodded anyways, more focused on the love I had thought long ago lost and not the terrible memories that my full name often brought on.

I drank in the sight of her, committing every millimeter of her face and body to my memory in case I lost her again. But I doubted that my memories, however pristine and crystal clear now, would ever do her real self justice.

* * *

><p>The day passed slowly, dragging on until I was ready to bolt out the door and track down the familiar face that had made each second feel like an eternity.<p>

Finally, mercifully, the bell rang I was running out the door as fast as humanly possible; my nose scenting the air and trying desperately to pick out the scent I somehow knew would be hers.

When I found her, she was in the parking lot, leaning casually against a silver Volvo, her eyes guarded just as they had been those many years ago, but a small smile tugged at her lips as she locked eyes with me.

I wasted no time moving towards her, enveloping her in a hug when I was within distance. The feeling of her in my arms again was like nothing I had ever experienced before; it brought with it a sense of belonging and a wonderful warmth.

"Rosalie, is it actually you?" I questioned desperately, unable to handle the rug being pulled from beneath my feet for a second time. It had to be her, there was no one who could mess with my mind and fabricate her.

"It's me, Isabella," she breathed into my ear, hugging me back with just as much force as I was giving her.

We both inhaled, long and deep, taking in the scent of the person we had both thought were long since dead.

"I've missed you so much, Rose," I confessed, letting one of the many walls I had built crumble before her. I was too happy to care that I was probably going to end up falling apart if I didn't keep control over my carefully constructed mask and defenses.

"I thought you'd died a long time ago, Bella," she confessed just as quietly, her fingers combing through my hair as she held me close.

"I can't believe I've finally found you!" I exclaimed, pulling her in for another tight embrace before pulling back and examining her more closely. "You look exactly the same, except more beautiful of course."

She smiled that same smile she used to give me whenever I complimented her—which was quite often— and I couldn't help but laugh at the familiarity of it.

"Come to our house, Bella," she said easily, her hand grasping mine as she tugged me towards the car, "we can introduce you to Carlisle and Esme and catch up."

"Sure," I said after a moment, not at all excited at the prospect of being in a house with seven vampires but if it meant getting to spend more time with Rosalie, I was definitely up for it. "But I've actually got my truck so I'll just follow you guys there."

Just as I turned to leave, I felt a strange poking sensation on the edge of my mind and I had to resist the urge to growl at the obvious invasion. Instead, I turned back and looked from vampire to vampire, sensing that one of them was the cause of the feeling.

I knew an attempt to get into my mind when I felt it and whoever was prodding would have hell to pay when I found out who they were.

* * *

><p>The first thing I noticed about the Cullen house when I pulled up was that it was a tad ostentatious and stuck out like a sore thumb in the empty area. That wasn't to say that it wasn't a beautiful home, but certainly not a place I'd want to live in.<p>

The second I stepped out of my truck, immediately after Rosalie threw a few barbs towards my 'metal heap called a pick-up truck' we walked inside and introductions began.

I'd already heard about each and every one of them, save for Carlisle and Esme, but they felt the need to do it anyways. So who was I to stop them?

"Okay, this is Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and Alice," Rosalie pointed each one of them out, her voice having lost that excited tone it had had when we were at school and sounding much more closed off. "And this is Carlisle and Esme," she pointed towards a blond man with short hair and a woman with reddish-brown hair and a decidedly 'motherly' look about her.

"Everybody, this is Isabella Swan," her hand swept towards me and I couldn't keep from correcting her any longer.

"Bella," I offered with a small smile, "I prefer to be called Bella. Isabella makes me feel old."

A few chuckles burst through the silence but I didn't miss the scrutinizing gaze of Rosalie at this tidbit of information.

"Well, Bella, what brings you to Forks?" Carlisle asked as we all moved towards their living room to sit.

"I was tired of roaming around and thought it would be nice to settle down for a little while. Where better than a little town where it's almost always cloudy?"

Carlisle nodded before his eyes darted towards Edward and then to Jasper before finally landing on Alice. I wanted to comment on this, to point out that even if I _was_ a threat, I was clearly outnumbered. There was no way I could take on an entire coven of vampires.

"I can't read her," Edward whispered to Carlisle, his distrustful topaz eyes darting towards me every so often. I was actually more offended at the fact that he thought I wouldn't be able to hear him whispering to Carlisle more so than his weariness towards me.

"She's a blank for me too," Jasper supplied, though he didn't whisper and said it quite clearly and loudly.

Alice's brow scrunched up as her eyes went in and out of focus before a quiet huff left her lips and a noticeable pout overtook her pixie like features, "I can't see anything about her, she's like a blank spot in my visions. Which at least explains why I didn't see her coming earlier."

Carlisle steepled his fingers in thought, staring at me as though I were a puzzle to be solved.

"While I appreciate you talking about me as though I'm not here, if you have a question then feel free to ask it. I may or may not answer, but feel free to put it out there." I said it a bit harsher than I had intended but I didn't appreciate being wrangled into coming here only to be stared at like a freak and talked about like I wasn't even in the room.

"Carlisle," Esme admonished, shooting me an apologetic gaze that was completely unwarranted from her.

"I'm sorry Bella," Carlisle offered sheepishly, "we don't get visitors often and it's even less often that a vampire can elude all three of my children's gifts."

I quirked my eyebrow at that but didn't say anything.

"Do you know why you aren't receptive to their abilities?" He finally asked after it was clear that I wasn't going to offer up the answers he so clearly wanted.

"I'm a shield of sorts," I said offhandedly, wondering how long this Q&A would last so I could talk to the one person I came here to talk to. "I can block out attempts that affect me physically and mentally."

Before another inquiry could be made I turned toward Rose, "Do you have an ability?"

She smirked and shook her head, her gruff exterior melting away as I stared inquisitively at her, no doubt looking like the lovesick puppy I was and always had been. "No, though it has been suggested that I possess an unnatural beauty, even among vampires."

I nodded, as though that made sense. And since I had known her when she was human, I actually believed it. She was beautiful enough to make any person; gay, straight, blind, deaf, dead, alive, whatever; Rosalie could sway them into doing anything with probably nothing more than quirk of her eyebrow.

"You're sarcasm and dry wit is probably a close second for a gift though, if I remember correctly. If that's not the case then your glare is definitely an ability because I've never seen a person crumble so easily beneath your withering stare as people tended to do around you." I was gushing and I realized it the moment the compliments were falling from my lips but I honestly didn't care because Rose was smiling and I felt like a dope but it was totally worth it.

"Unfortunately not, but my glare and wit has only improved over time," Rosalie added dryly, her smile taking the bite out of her words.

"Good to know," I muttered in her direction, still a little bewildered to the fact that she was sitting right here with me. I was so tempted to reach out and maintain a physical connection, fearing that in a split second she would just up and disappear.

"Does your ability have any other properties?" Carlisle asked, bring the conversation back on topic and I wanted so badly to smack him for ruining my moment.

Instead, I chose to lie and cut off his nosiness. "No, not that I know off." He didn't really need to know that my shield could be projected both mentally and physically, especially when divulging that information would probably lead to a crap ton more questions.

And then, there was that infuriating poking happening again and since I knew that Alice was a seer she was out which left only Jasper and Edward.

Judging from the constipated look on Edwards face I could only assume it was him. I leveled him with a hardened glare, letting him know that I knew what he was doing and didn't appreciate it in the least. His eyes dropped down to the ground and I swiftly redirected my attention toward Rosalie.

"How do you two know each other?" Alice's excited voice asked, glancing between the two of us like there was an epic tale to be told.

I opened my mouth to speak but Rose beat me too it. "I knew Bella was I was still human and living in Rochester. We had been friends since the age of, what, seven?"

I nodded enthusiastically, "Since seven, when she smacked me and stole my pencil, then glared at me for trying to take it back."

Alice nodded along, as though she thought the beginning of our friendship made total sense to her. Based on Rose's character, I guess it kind of did.

"So, you were there when she got engaged?" Edward asked bluntly, his eyes still scrutinizing as he continued to size me up.

"I was there up until the hour she disappeared. I went looking for her and found nothing but a puddle of blood and torn pieces of her dress." I cringed thinking back to the memory that had assaulted me just earlier in the morning.

Rosalie gently rested her hand on my shoulder, a sad smile on her face as she looked into my eyes, almost as though she could see the pain that colored them. "I was turned that night by Carlisle and woke three days later. I went out that same night and killed each and every one of them responsible for my death."

With a slight head nod, I directed my gaze towards the floor, "I thought as much." I had never had the chance to go back and check to see if Royce had truly died so it was consoling to know that he had gotten his comeuppance.

"What do you mean?" Edward intruded obnoxiously, his voice quickly beginning to grate on my nerves.

"It doesn't matter," I responded curtly, hating how entitled he thought he was to my answers. "I should get going," I didn't actually _want _to leave but there was no way I was going to talk to Rosalie with all these prying ears around. I had waited this long and even though I dreaded it, I would be willing to wait just that much longer.

"Bella, wait," Rose stopped me, "you can stay here. We have plenty of rooms and it's probably better suited than where you're staying. We've got the forest just out back and it's secluded."

My head shook sadly, "I can't stay here Rose."

"Why not?" She asked insistently and I nearly flinched at the accusing tone she had adopted.

"I don't do well in groups," I answered honestly, wishing she would believe me but knowing that it was unlikely.

"Seriously Bella, why don't you want to stay here? Is it Edward? Or my family? Are you staying with someone _else_?" And suddenly, the friendly Rose I had just been reacquainted with was replaced by the angry one who sneered and snarled and used her words to cut people down in size.

"I've already told you," I responded just as curtly, unsure as to why her mood had shifted so suddenly. My defenses were rising without warning and it felt like there was little I could do to drop them.

"Am I not what you expected?" She ask seemingly out of the blue and I was once again thrown for a loop. Technically, she wasn't, but then again I hadn't really expected her to be the same. Time changes people and I could hardly claim to be the same person she knew so why would I expect the same of her?

"No, you aren't," I once again, answered honestly. "But I doubt I'm the same as you expected."

Her face screwed up at that and it gave me pause. "Right?"

Again, no response other than the strange flicker of emotion on her face and then it clicked.

"You can't expect someone to be the same if you weren't really looking for them, can you Rosalie?" It was like a punch to the gut and I was left feeling winded and deflated.

And then the guilty look on her face was morphing into an angry and defensive one and I knew things were not about to end pleasantly. She wasn't famous for her irritability and quick anger for no reason.

"That was eighty years ago, Bella." She shouted at me and I was filled with an anger I didn't know I possessed but I made sure I channeled it.

"God Rosalie, I thought maybe after all this time you would be less of a self-centered bitch but I guess I was wrong." I snarled, unable to keep the fury from rolling off of me. The words tumbled effortlessly as I let the hurt and pain hit me full force. Being angry was better than feeling like a forgotten memory. I had no doubt I would replay our words endlessly but I wasn't going to stand here and take her ire. I was hurt, yes, but I wouldn't let her know the depths of my heartbreak. The pain of being left behind – in more ways than one.

"Like you're one to talk, Bella," she responded just as angrily, her eyes turning black as she glared heatedly at me.

"I'm one to talk?" I said incredulously, unable to comprehend how she could even _think_ we were the same when it came to this. "Let me ask you Rosalie, did you ever, even once, come back to Rochester to look for me? Since you were turned, did you even think to see how I was doing? If I was okay?"

Her eyes burned even brighter if that were possible, a mixture of hatred and pain swirling beneath those blackened eyes. "I was a vampire, Bella, so excuse me if my first thought wasn't to seek you out." She snarled condescendingly, her face twisting into a scowl so deep that I nearly flinched away.

"That's not what I asked. I want to know, throughout your existence as a vampire, did you even think about me? Wonder how I was doing? Or did you forget about me the second you were turned?" I held on to the anger, the words a shout as I directed them towards the blonde I had once thought I loved. But the way her eyes dimmed at what I was asking, the way her shoulders slumped ever so slightly, I knew the answer to my questions.

Even after all these years, after having hoped and prayed that she was okay and still alive, decades spent trying to track her down and I hadn't even crossed her mind.

I felt like a fool; an utterly pathetic fool. But then again, I shouldn't have been surprised. I was always at her beck and call and while I knew she appreciated our friendship, it was clear that I needed her more than she needed me.

"Isabella," she whispered, her hand outstretched to touch me but I recoiled, the pain I was feeling was buried deep within me as I tried to muster up as much hatred as I could.

"Don't call me that!" I screamed at her, keeping just out of her reach. "God, even after all these years you still have the ability to make me feel like such an utter _loser_." I glared at her, my teeth bared as savage growl bubbled in my chest, "I thought we were friends. I thought, despite the cold front you put up around everyone else, that I was the _one_ person you cared for; the one you loved."

My head shook in disbelief, hating how I felt so used. "I spent nights holding you, brushing your hair and telling you that you were more than just a pretty face. I was there when you would come home bruised and broken because Royce decided he needed a punching bag instead of a fiancée. I held you while you cried and comforted you when your mother unjustly called you a harlot and a whore. _I_ was there for you whenever you needed me, I was at your beck and call."

Her face was an unreadable mask as I ticked the things off, her eyes still pitch black and her lips pressed into a thin line. "But I didn't even warrant a second thought the moment you were turned, did I? You were introduced into this new life and suddenly I wasn't important anymore. The pathetic little Isabella Swan who doted on you like the fool she was, was no longer important. I served my purpose so you could just cast me aside, is that it?"

The words kept tumbling from my mouth, no matter how hard I tried to keep them in. I hated her, I hated the years I'd wasted looking for her, the hope that I clung to, because it was all blowing up in my face and driving a knife through my heart.

Her silence was enough to force the last few words from me, and I couldn't stop myself even if I tried. "I never thought I'd say this but I wish I hadn't met you, Rosalie. I wish I hadn't cared so damn much but most of all, I wish I had never left that night to try and confront Royce. Because if I had I would have died thinking you were alive and still the Rosalie I knew instead of the cold, heartless monster who stands before me now. I went through hell but all you can think about is yourself and I find myself wishing that I had just left well enough alone."

Without another word, I turned on my heel and left; unable to face any more and unwilling to completely fall apart in front of Rosalie. It was bad enough that I had said far more than I had ever wanted to but to break down in front of her was _not _an option. I had lost so much of my pride today that I don't think I could handle losing another ounce of it.

Pain and rejection were swallowing me whole and I didn't know how to handle them. I didn't know what to do with _myself_ now that I had nothing holding me together. So much of what got me through this life was knowing that there was some chance Rosalie was roaming the Earth and maybe, just maybe, looking for me just as hard as I had been looking for her.

But like most fantasies, mine was crumbling before me and the shards were piercing every inch of my marbled flesh.

It was only then realizing that the Rosalie I had know in my human years, the one I yearned for, was no longer the one who walked this Earth. I'd like to think that the Rosalie I had followed so devoutly, whose shadow I so effortlessly blended into, would have looked for me had I gone missing. Some part of me believes that had I disappeared, she would have clung to the hope that I was alive out there somewhere and would maybe keep looking for me like I did for her.

But maybe the Rose I knew back then wasn't ever the real one to begin with; maybe I fooled myself into thinking she cared about me when all she cared about was having someone around who would dote on her no matter what.

At this point, I didn't really know. All I knew for sure was that I had spent decades searching for her and she had spent exactly, well, her entire existence forgetting I ever existed.

God, the pain of it, the rejection and realization of it all; it's just too much. I never truly realized how much I loved her until this moment, and even now, I can't truly fathom how much it was but if the pain of having my dead heart ripped from my chest is any indication, I'd guess that it was _a lot_.

* * *

><p>Days passed and I couldn't bring myself to step foot back in the school; some part of me knew that she would be there and I didn't think I could handle that. I might have been unable to cry but that didn't mean I was willing to endure the pain of smelling her scent or hearing her voice as she talked to her siblings.<p>

It would be too much to handle and I was too much of a coward to face her. I was never as good as she was when it came to putting up a front; I had gotten better over the years but I knew she could still read me like a book.

'_Man up, Bella. The longer you hide out in your house the more you convince her of the power she has over you. Do you think she stopped living her life just because you told her off? She didn't care about you before and she doesn't care now, she proved as much when you last talked._'

"Fuck it," I shouted into the room, angrily changing as I walked outside and hopped into my truck.

I was Isabella Marie Swan and I wasn't the pathetic human I was before. I was resilient and there was no way I was going to let Rosalie break me. I didn't break when she died, I didn't break when I was turned, and I wasn't about to break now. I was stronger and better than this.

If she wanted to act like I didn't matter to her then I could do the same. Who cares that if felt like someone had taken a jackhammer to my chest? I would deal with the pain and push through it.

Of course, my tough attitude was easy to believe when it was just me in my truck but the moment I stepped foot into the school and smelled her scent it was like a wrecking ball slammed into me and I found myself unable to hold onto the strength I had mustered.

Sometimes, I really hated how weak I was.

* * *

><p>The day passed slowly, the classes dragging on as I attempted to distract myself by talking to Mike and Angela, heck, even Jessica.<p>

When lunch rolled around, I took my usual seat and waited for everyone else to join me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I failed to notice the blonde vampire that took a seat directly across from me. Her eyes were dark, not black but certainly not the butterscotch that they usually were.

"Bella," she said softly, her eyes searching mine as though she were looking for something.

My eyes hardened and my face closed off, "Rosalie," I uttered emptily, unable to muster any anger towards her and unwilling to show the hurt.

"Bella, can we please talk?" She pleaded, her eyes unusually expressive as she reached across the table to grab my hand. Again, I recoiled, my hands dropping into my lap as I stared impassively at her.

"There's nothing to say, Rosalie. The relationship we have now isn't and will never be like the one we had in the past. I know that and I think you know that so let's just get through this year and go our separate ways. It'll be like none of this ever happened." I didn't even believe the words I was saying but I knew that no matter how much she wanted our friendship again, I could never get past the betrayal I was feeling.

I would never be able to understand how she could so easily forget I existed, how easy it was for her to move on with her life.

"I don't want that," she whispered before her eyes looked just over my shoulder and glared angrily at the people approaching the table.

"Stop that," I snarled, staring angrily at her as the regular table occupants shied away. My face easily smoothed itself out as I turned to face the group, "Sorry guys, Rosalie and I were just leaving. We're still on for the movies later though, right?" I asked with a fake smile on my face, trying to act like the normal teenager I was pretending to be.

Mike nodded eagerly before glaring at Rosalie, but it was Angela who verbally confirmed the plans. "Yeah, see you tonight Bella."

I smiled at her and mock saluted, "See you guys then."

With that, I threw a withering glance at Rosalie before marching out the back doors, ignoring the inquisitive looks on the rest of the Cullen's faces.

I stopped just inside the tree line, making sure I was out of hearing range of the rest of the vampires. Rosalie joined me just seconds after I had stopped, her face pensive as she stared at me.

"I'm sorry Bella," her eyes darted down towards the ground, her shoe toeing through the grass, "I never meant to make you think I didn't care about you."

I didn't respond, figuring there wasn't much I could say in response to that. I had said my peace and it was only fair to let Rose say hers.

"I hated how my life ended and to a certain extent, I hate who I am now. I have spent my entire existence trying to forget my last moments as a human, trying to move on from it all and I can't. Some nights, I lay there and can't help but feel like I'm reliving it all, over and over again." She shook her head sadly, her blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders, "So instead of trying to move past it, I chose to forget about it all. I stopped thinking about my human life all together and tried to embrace this new life I was given. I thought I at least owed it to Carlisle to try and make this work."

She took a shuddering breath, her eyes finally locking on mine. "But I was wrong to forget about the only person who made my life worth living. You were wrong about so much Bella. I loved you so much—I still do. You were the one person I could count on when my life was in shambles."

Rose took a step closer to me, her hand cupping my cheek tenderly as she swiped her thumb over my cheekbone. "I never let anyone in like I let you in. _You_ were the only person I ever let see me broken. _You_ were the person I counted on to keep me sane and strong. _You_ were the person I would have given my life for and _you_ were the person who deserved so much more than I gave you."

Her eyes were glossed over with tears that would never fall, the sorrow within them making me want nothing more than to wrap my arms around her.

"What happened that night, Rose?" I asked quietly, turning my face into her hand as she continued to stroke my cheek.

"Royce and his friends were drunk," she said bitterly, "I had gone looking for them and when I found them, Royce so kindly offered me up to his friends. They left me battered, broken and defiled on the street."

I could only growl in anger, wishing I had had the chance to kill Royce and avenge her. I knew he had played some part in things and if given the chance I would have torn him limb from limb except someone had beaten me to it by the time I returned to Rochester.

"Carlisle found me and turned me but the moment I was lucid enough, I left and found them. I killed each and every single one of them." Her voice was decidedly darker as she stared unseeingly out into the distance, "A tad dramatic now that I think back on how I did it, but you and I both know how much I loved theatrics."

Nodding, I pulled her towards me and into a tight embrace. "I would have avenged you, Rose. I was outside his place when I was turned, but I would have done it if you hadn't."

I don't know why it was important that she know that, but I needed her to see just how far I was willing to go for her. I would have gladly killed those men for her because she deserved justice.

"I know you would have, Bella," she whispered into my ear, her breath on my flesh sending chills down my spine.

As we stood there, arms wrapped tightly around one another, I couldn't help but ask the question that had been bugging me since I had seen her for the first time. "Do you regret having been turned?"

Judging from the way her body stiffened and she pulled back, I didn't need to hear her answer to know it.

"Yes. I never wanted this life. I was supposed to get married and have children; to die old and happy. Instead, I was beaten and raped and turned into an immortal monster. It was because Carlisle decided to play God that I was forced into this life." Her disgust on the issue was evident in the way she practically spit the words. "That's not to say I don't appreciate the chance at another life, I just hate that everything I wanted, all the things I craved when I was human, I can no longer have."

My brow furrowed and I couldn't help but frown at her words. "But Carlisle was a good leader, right? He taught you how to survive and offered you a place in his coven, right?"

Rosalie nodded easily, unsure where my questions were coming from.

"I realize this isn't the life you wanted, but I imagine this lifestyle isn't what a lot of us would have chosen. But at least you were turned by one of the good vampires; it's obvious that Carlisle cares about you and you have a coven that values you and acts as a family. You could have had much worse."

I wasn't trying to make her anger at her situation seem unjustified, I just wanted to point out that things could have turned out so much worse for her. I don't think she really realized how much worse her life could have been had a different vampire found her than Carlisle.

"What do you mean, Bella?" She asked hesitantly, her eyes once again scrutinizing me as she tried to pry the answers from me.

I offered a sad smile, "I'm saying that not all newborns have such caring people to introduce them to their new life. My maker, well, let's just say he was no Carlisle Cullen." With that, I gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and made my way towards the parking lot, no longer interested in finishing off the rest of the school day. Plus, I knew that if I were to be around Rose any longer she probably would have tried to pry more answers from me and I was definitely not in the mood to talk about my past.

It would only lead to more pain and another fight.

* * *

><p>Later that night, as I stood outside of the movie theater waiting for Angela, Mike, Eric and Jessica to show up, I wondered if maybe it were time to start moving on with my life.<p>

From what Rosalie had told me earlier, she still yearned for a normal life and as far as I could tell, I didn't stand much of a chance in that life. How could she go from wanting a kids and husband to a girl she forced herself to forget about? I know she was extending an olive branch today, but I think maybe she forgot how easily we could reach one another.

I knew that no matter how hard she tried to ignore her past, no matter how badly she tried to maintain our friendship, I would always be a reminder of the life she left behind and subsequently, a reminder of her last moments alive.

She would remember her last moments when she looked at me just like how whenever I looked at her I remembered those razor sharp teeth sinking into my neck and the sound of Royce's screams echoing in the background.

There was no way Rosalie and I were going to stay in touch after this school year was over; I knew it and she knew it. I think too much has happened in our lives to really make being around each other a feasible option.

I could only hope to make this year worth it and while we might be able to maintain a long-distance friendship, I would need to move on with my life like I had planned. I couldn't spend the rest of my life pining for a woman who would never see me as anything more than someone she knew when she was human.

I need to accept what is and find someone who would want to spend the rest of eternity with me.

I nodded, more to myself than anything else; solidifying the silent promise I was making to myself.

I smiled, a real and genuine smile as my four friends stepped out of their cars and walked towards me, their smiles reflecting mine. "Have you been waiting long?" Angela asked when she approached me, her smile wide and unrestrained as she sidled up to me and glanced at the showings.

"Nope, maybe about five minutes," I answered, internally smirking at the way Angela seemed to step that much closer to me.

"So, who's up for a horror movie?" Mike asked, eagerly wrapping his arm around Jessica's shoulder as they made their way towards the ticket booth.

Eric smiled and nodded enthusiastically, "Ooh, can't wait. Sarah is going to be all over me." Just as he spoke the words, the girl in question stopped next to him, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek and offering a small wave to the rest of us.

"So, a scary flick?" Mike asked, turning his attention to the rest of the group to see if the choice was acceptable.

"Totally," Eric shouted, holding his hand up for a high five which Mike happily acquiesced.

Jessica shrugged, trying to look uninterested but the glint in her eye suggested that she was looking forward to the movie just as much as Mike was.

Sarah shook her head but didn't object, resigning herself to the inevitable but taking solace in the fact that her boyfriend would be there to comfort her.

I chanced a look at Angela who seemed to be staring at me, her cheeks a little rosy as she quickly averted her gaze. "Sounds good," she mumbled, staring with rapt interest at the stores down the street.

"Horror movie it is," I said, looking curiously at Angela for a moment before walking up to the counter and buying two tickets.

I immediately handed one over to Angela as we waited for the guys to buy their pairs of tickets.

I nudged Angela lightly with my shoulder and handed her the ticket, "Here ya go," and fought a smile as she once again blushed. The scent of her blood flowing to her rosy cheeks making my mouth water.

"Thanks," she whispered before digging into her purse for some money. My hand automatically shot out to halt her movements, a stern shake of my head to show that she wasn't going to be paying for it.

"My treat," I smiled, "I figure since we're the odd ones out right now I could at least treat you to a movie. New kid rules and whatnot."

I'm not sure if it was the smile or the naturally overwhelming heady scent that wafted off of me, but Angela just smiled goofily, her eyes a little glazed over as she stared at me. I might have over done things a bit but I didn't see the harm in having a little fun with her.

"Shall we?" I asked softly, holding out my arm for her to take as the others started walking into the theater.

She giggled before grabbing my arm and together we walked inside, only stopping to get her a small popcorn and Coke before finding our seats and settling in for the movie.

Of course, halfway through the movie I couldn't help but laugh at the way all the girls seemed to jump out of their seats. It might have been because I had seen so much worse in my lifetime but the film didn't seem at all scary to me.

But Angela, Jessica and Sarah seemed to be jumping out of their skin and clinging to their respective partners throughout the entire thing. Of course, just because this wasn't a date for Angela and I didn't mean that she wasn't going to bury her face in the crook of my neck or cling to my arm during particularly scary scenes.

When the movie was over, we left laughing loudly, Mike, Eric and I joking about the absurdity of the movie while Angela, Sarah and Jessica complained about the amount of gore.

As we stepped outside, Angela started to shiver and it was almost an automatic reaction to offer up my jacket, especially seeing as how it offered me no warmth. The second it was around her shoulders, Angela was subtly burying her nose in it and inhaling my scent; something I found extremely flattering and a little strange. The way my smell affected humans was one of the few things about my life I hadn't quite gotten used to.

"Anyone up for some food?" Eric asked, looking at his girlfriend but asking the question to the entire group.

A resounding 'yes' echoed and rather than have to force myself to eat food that would only end up being forcibly ejected from my body, I opted to pass on the whole thing. "Actually, I have a ton of makeup work to finish and if I don't get back soon, I probably won't ever get to it. But I had fun tonight, thanks for inviting me."

"Ugh, I can't even imagine how much work you have to do. I would rather, like, fail than do a week's worth of homework." Jessica supplied, her face twisting into a pained grimace.

I nodded in agreement, pretending as though that homework wouldn't take me a matter of minutes to finish.

"I'll see you guys later," I said before offering a wave and walking towards my truck.

Just as I unlocked the door I felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned to see Angela standing behind me with my jacket in her hands. "You forgot your jacket," she said shyly, and I wondered if I should be worried about the way she was looking at me. Though, if I were to want anyone's affections, other than the obvious, I certainly could do worse than Angela Weber. She was pretty in the way I used to be, it was a subtle beauty that shined through no matter how hard a person tried to hide it, she was smart and that's always a bonus but even better was that she was probably one of the nicest people in Forks.

"Keep it, I'll get it from you when I see you next time." I grabbed it and draped it over her shoulders again. "Besides, it looks better on you than it does on me," with nothing more than a wink, I hopped into my truck and drove off, but not before I heard her mutter dazedly, "You look good in everything," and chuckled at the way her heart rate picked up its speed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I was shocked to find Rosalie leaning casually against my locker, her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes tracked my movement as I approached her, a small smile pulling at her lips. "Hey Bella."<p>

"Hey Rose," I responded before opening my locker and fishing out the books I'd need for my first half of the day.

"How were the movies?" And it was only when she asked the question that I noticed the strange emotion swirling in her eyes. The words were almost strained as she tried her damnedest to appear nonchalant, but I knew better.

"Pretty good, though not nearly as scary as I thought it would be." I watched her reaction from the corner of my eye, wondering if I would be able to identify the emotion she was trying so valiantly to hide.

"Well, if you're up for it, I thought maybe we could hang out at my place and have a movie marathon. You know, watch some of the movies we used to have nightmares over." And damn if those eyes of hers didn't get me every single time. I wanted so badly to put some distance between us but I still desperately craved a piece of her, even if it was a piece that was strictly one of friendship. I hated myself for being so weak but I was helpless to resist her when I was human and sadly, even after all this time, I was still just as helpless, maybe more so now.

"Sure, I'd love to." And just over her shoulder, I spotted Angela making her way towards us, her smile just as wide as it was when I last saw her. "Just let me know when." I closed my locker, offered her a small smile and made my way towards Angela, forcing myself not to turn back and chance one last look as Rosalie.

The closer I got to Angela, the less of an effect I found Rosalie to be having on my mind and for that I was extremely grateful. I also didn't fail to notice that my jacket was still being worn by Angela, her books clutched tightly to her chest as she stared almost adoringly at me. Which was again, flattering if not a little unnerving.

"Ready for class?" I asked, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that she had yet to relinquish my jacket.

"Definitely."

As we walked to class, I could feel a heated gaze burning a hole into my back and I had my suspicions as to who it belonged but I refused to turn around and verify it. '_We're just friends. We are just friends. We are just friends._' I mentally chanted, thinking that if I thought it enough that I might actually start to believe it.

I made it through the first half of the day with ease, listening to the lectures and doodling away in my notebook, feeling for the first time in decades like the teenager I was.

When lunch time rolled around I wasn't nearly as shocked to find Rosalie waiting by the doorway, a scowl firmly planted on her face as she glared angrily at Angela's back.

"Why are you glaring at Angela?" I asked, not even bothering to hide my amusement at her somewhat childish tactics.

"I'm not glaring at Angela," Rosalie retorted with obvious anger, something that would have made anyone recoil but I had grown up with her anger issues and they were no different now that she was a vampire.

"Whatever you say," I mumbled, once again bypassing the lunch line and heading towards a different table, sensing I was about to endure a lot more of an angry Rosalie and not needing her taking it out on the innocent humans who were brave enough to associate with me.

"Aren't you going to sit with your friends and _Angela_?" Rosalie sneered, her face twisting into one of disgust as she spat Angela's name.

"No," I answered, completely unfazed by her vehement dislike for the nerdy girl who seemed to have quite a crush on me. "Besides, I don't need you getting pissy towards her because you're in a bad mood."

Her glare was then redirected towards me, but when it didn't elicit the usual look of fear she huffed loudly and collapsed into one of the seats, her arms crossing angrily over her chest as she continued to stare harshly at me.

"Is there a reason you're so angry right now or am I just supposed to chalk it up to your usual behavior?" I asked bluntly, her moodiness suddenly wearing thin. After nearly a century of not having endured her attitude I'm finding it's taking some time to get used to it again. I'm actually not sure how I put up with it in the first place.

The look of shock on her face was picture worthy but just as quickly as the look showed, her face was schooled back into its usual scowl.

"I'm not angry," she huffed, her gruff response negating the words.

Fine, if she didn't want to admit whatever the hell was bugging her then I'd let her stew in it until it bubbled over and she spilled the beans. I had enough on my plate, I was done poking and prodding for information.

We sat in silence for somewhere around ten minutes before she growled lowly and rolled her eyes in exasperation, probably having realized I wasn't going to talk until she did.

"You know our plans to watch movies tonight?" She asked out of the blue, her expression still angry but tinged with something else.

"Yeah," I said while nodding slowly, wondering how this tied into her bad mood.

"I'm going to have to cancel."

I waited for further elaboration, staring at her expectantly but instead all I got was her disinterested gaze before she started to examine her already impeccable nails.

And for some reason, watching her do that made my annoyance skyrocket. It might have been because I had seen her do that exact same thing so many times when we were humans; it was what she did when she was playing with her prey, her victims, and wanted to seem uninterested while she watched them squirm.

But I wasn't going to let her play this game with me. I wasn't some stupid naïve girl and I wasn't going to be toyed with. Either she wanted this friendship or she didn't but I wasn't going to stand by and take whatever tests and games she was going to throw at me. I was stronger than this, I deserved better than this. I had been through too much, been forced to play too many games to have to once again jump through hoops for approval.

No more.

I was Isabella Marie Swan and Rosalie Lillian Hale could go to hell if she thought she could still get away with manipulating me and pulling the strings. She was a vampire who was three days older than me and needed to stop acting like she was some superior being.

"Whatever," I responded coolly, outwardly showing that I couldn't have cared less. Her look faltered, her eyes widening just a fraction before she hit the reset button and her face was once again impassive, but I had seen it. "Is that all? Because I really should be getting back to my table," I asked flippantly, not bothering to wait for a response as I rose from my seat.

Her hand shot out towards mine in the blink of an eye, the pale hand tightening on my wrist. "Seriously?" She asked, incredulity dripping from that one word.

"Yeah," I said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "As much as I'd like to sit here and watch you buff your nails I have better things to do."

Again, just as I started to walk away, her hand clamped down my wrist and I was sorely tempted to rip it off. I hated being grabbed like that and yet she continued to do it.

"What?" I snarled at her, unable to keep my emotions in check and lashing out at the only person around.

Her hand immediately released mine, both hands shooting out to show she meant no harm. Just as her hands lifted into the air the rest of the Cullen clan decided to abandon their table and situate themselves at ours.

"Everything okay?" Emmett asked happily, an oblivious grin on his face but I knew better. They were vampires and I had no doubt that they had not only seen but heard everything that was going on over here. They were here to protect Rosalie should I lash out and do something reckless.

"Just _dandy_," I spat, glaring at the blonde vampire before once again making an attempt to exit.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, the repentant tone making me stop dead in my tracks and turn slowly towards her. "I keep telling myself that I'll stop doing this and yet every time we're near one another, I just can't seem to stop."

It was pathetic how badly I wanted to believe that; how much I wanted to believe that she wasn't just playing some stupid game with me but insecurities were always my forte and I had a ton of them stashed away. Rosalie had always been one of those insecurities.

She was beautiful even when we were humans and I saw myself as anything but. I was ordinary in the most basic sense of the word. I was shy, clumsy, I wasn't beautiful but I wasn't ugly either; I was invisible and I always felt myself questioning why a person as perfect as Rosalie would want to associate with me.

I didn't make her a better person, I didn't stand up to her, I didn't bring anything to the table except my desire to be around her.

Hearing her apologize though, made me remember how clueless she made me feel. How inept and strange I felt in her presence. She was effortless in the best of ways and I was complex in the worst of ways.

"What exactly are you sorry for?" I questioned, wondering if this apology was genuine or just a way of trying to appease me so she could toy with me some more.

Her teeth bit down into her plump pink lips, worrying the tender flesh until she leveled her topaz eyes on me. "I'm sorry I keep playing these passive aggressive games with you. I'm sorry I keep saying the wrong things and that I can't say what's on my mind. I'm – I'm just _sorry_." And damn it if I didn't believe her.

I sighed but walked back towards the seat and reluctantly sat beside her, still frowning but no longer as angry as I had been when I tried, unsuccessfully, to walk away.

As we sat there, Rosalie and I in silence, while the rest of the group chatted amongst themselves, I let my mind wander. I could feel Rose's scrutinizing gaze on me but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to call her on it, besides, I had spent my fair share of time staring at her and never once had she called me on it.

Last I remember, she adored being the object of others attention.

But then again, that was before.

I hated how far apart we seemed. Before, we were inseparable and could read each other like books but now, things weren't like that. Too much time had passed and I felt like the Rosalie sitting beside me wasn't the one I knew before. And on some level, I knew that to be true.

We had both been shaped and changed by our past, maybe me more so than her. I didn't know much about her life with Carlisle but I knew, at least based on his other 'children' that he had watched them and helped them transition to a vegetarian diet so he couldn't have been all that terrible.

So it stood to reason that Rosalie wouldn't be all that cultured to the downsides to the vampire life, having had someone to guide her and keep her focused on the good.

But watching them, seeing them all smiling and happy, I knew that Rosalie and I had taken different paths.

She had someone give her the care she needed to flourish in this life; someone to help her see the right from wrong and grow accordingly.

I had someone who showed me the wrong and forced me to be someone I just wasn't. Her maker, or more accurately, 'adoptive father' was a good influence and she embraced his role in her life. I denied my maker, only acknowledging that it was his venom that coursed through my veins, and shunning him. But he was never one to be easily deterred and he made sure that I knew who was in charge.

I might have had newborn strength on my side but it was nothing compared to his strength and his gift. I was at his mercy and because of his influence in my life, I would probably never be the naïve and positive Bella that Rosalie had once known.

It was a sad thing to realize but the truth couldn't be ignored. Our paths had led us in two different directions and I couldn't help but feel like we were meant to meet but not be together.

Rosalie was happy here with the Cullens, or as happy as she could be. But I didn't know what happiness was, I didn't know the warmth that a coven could provide, I didn't have the enjoyment of forming close relationships.

My experience in covens had taught me that they were comprised of ruthless creatures and happiness held no place in them.

"Stop it, telepath," I growled abruptly, my teeth bared as I tried to show just how wrong of a move he was making by trying to prod in my brain. "My shield is not up for you to try and break through. If you try that stunt again I'll do much worse than growl."

He smiled sheepishly, as though that would fix the invasion of privacy he was trying to create. "Sorry," he muttered, ignoring the disappointed and disapproving stares he was getting.

"Somehow, I doubt that. It's not the first time you've tried that stunt." I snarled, grabbing my things and leaving the table. "I have class," I offered as a reason for leaving and exited the lunch room without another glance back.

My thoughts were making my mood take a terrible turn and I felt like no matter how badly I tried to get my temper under control I was fighting a losing battle.

Too much was going on in my head and I hated it.

"Bella," Rosalie asked, keeping pace behind me as she followed me down the hallway, "I'm sorry about Edward, he's frustrated that he can't read you and seems to be lacking some brain cells because he's determined to break through your shield."

I don't know why but I was feeling overwhelmed, everything seemed to be piling on top of one another and I couldn't seem to deal with things. Rosalie, our friendship, my feelings for her, the realization that she wasn't the same Rose I fell in love with, my past, her past, her coven, Angela, Forks; all of it was too much and I felt like I was going mad.

"I can't do this." I finally said, running my hands roughly through my hair, avoiding eye contact with her topaz eyes. "I can't stay here and pretend like we can be friends again. You're playing games with me and it's not like it's anything new because you've always done that but I just can't handle it anymore. You aren't the Rose I knew, and I'm almost ashamed to say that you aren't the one I've spent decades trying to find."

Despite the fact that I wasn't looking at her, I could feel the hurt radiating off of her and rushed to clarify.

"And I'm not the Bella you knew either. I'm a shell of the person you knew, Rose. I'm jealous of how you've lived because you had Carlisle to help you through your transition, he taught you how to survive and he was what every newborn should have as a maker. But my transition wasn't like yours, it was terrible."

A dry sob left my lips before I could stop it, the memories flooding through my brain with such speed that it left me dropping to my knees, my head cradled in my hands as I tried to keep the world from spinning around me.

"I fucking _hated_ him. He turned me into a monster because he _could_. He made me kill, watched me tear people apart and relished in the savagery he created. I didn't know there was any other way of living and whenever I tried to stop, when I tried to step up and be the person I knew I was, he would worm his way into my brain and change me. I could feel him digging around in my head and I knew he was making sure I never defied him again. He used me, he invaded every part of me and when he was done, I was nothing more than a broken person." I shuddered, wishing the venom building in my eyes would finally fall, but it never did.

"He took piece after piece of me and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop him. It was only after I ran into some vampires who showed me how to use my shield that I finally cut off his ability to order me around and rummage around in my head. And I made sure I killed the sick son of a bitch before he could do the same thing to another person. But it didn't matter because the damage was done. He _defiled_ me, Rosalie, do you understand that?" I asked angrily, my eyes blazing as I stared into her eyes and _willed_ her to understand how deep of a meaning that question had.

When her eyes widened I knew she understood, I knew that she could see the same shadows lurking in my eyes that lurked within her own.

"I kept looking for you because I thought you could remind me of the person I was, that you could help me be someone who didn't look in the mirror and hate the monster who looked back at her but seeing everything you have, how relatively easy your life has been, I can't help but despise you. Your last moments were terrible, Rosalie but I spent fifteen years living what you experienced for one night. And I hate you for it and I hate_ myself_ for feeling that way."

I stood, wishing my knees weren't as shaky as they seemed, "I love you Rose, I have _always_ loved you but seeing what you have, seeing how far you've come, I can't ruin that for you. I can't pull you down with me because of my jealousy and past. I hate that I've come back into your life only to leave you but you've forgotten me once and I have faith that you can do it again. I really do wish you the best, Rose."

I couldn't look at her, couldn't see the expression on her face, so I did what I do best and I ran.

I ran as far and as fast as I could and prayed that she would stay there and move on. I was a mess and it only took a short while with her to make me unravel. She had found the one loose strand in me and unknowingly pulled it until I fell apart in a heap.

* * *

><p>I was surprised and yet completely unsurprised to have been tackled just as I hit the Forks border.<p>

Slim arms wrapped around my waist and flipped me with ease, the angelic blonde face I had chased for so long was hovering just above mine. Her face almost pained as she stared into my eyes, a light sheen of venom coating her butterscotch eyes.

"I looked for you," she said after we spent a minute staring at one another, her voice low and gravelly as she continued to stare at me. "Carlisle wouldn't let me out of his sight until I had my hunger under control but the moment I could, I went back and I looked for you."

She almost looked ashamed as she said the words I had been craving to hear from her, except now, they didn't fill me with the warmth I had hoped. I felt empty and the self-hatred from the few sentences I had uttered to her kept me from relishing the fact that she cared enough to come back to me.

"I found your grave stone," Rosalie whispered sadly, her hands cupping my face as she forced us to look at one another, "it was right next to mine and I sat there for a week, just staring at our names side by side."

"I sat there with venom pooling in my eyes and no matter how much agony ripped through me, no matter how loudly I screamed, the tears never flowed." Her voice was breaking as she let the words tumble from her lips. "I hated myself for leaving you alone all that time. You were the only person I've ever loved Isabella, and I abandoned you. I thought you died and left me to roam this Earth alone and in that moment, I both hated you and envied you."

"My life was nothing like yours and for that I am so terribly, terribly, sorry. I wish I had know what was going to happen, I wish I could have saved you the torment and protected you like a friend is supposed to do." Her face hovered closer to mine, her fingers brushing over my cheeks as she spoke, her scent washing over me as she willed me to understand what she was saying.

"But I wasn't there for you and while I can't change the past and be there for you back then, I can be there for you now. I can be the support you need, I can heal your wounds, I can be the friend I was supposed to be."

Her face lowered just a fraction more, our noses rubbing affectionately as her broken and sorrowful eyes gazed into mine. "I can be whatever you need Bella, because I've missed you and I love you too much to watch you disappear on me again. I can't lose you a second time."

The emotion filled my chest with warmth and without another thought, I gave in to the temptation and closed the distance between us. Our lips pressed together and it was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

It was like waking up from the transition from human to vampire except it was a thousand times better. The birds sang louder, colors seemed brighter, my body seemed lighter and every part of my body was humming on energy.

Our lips moved in perfect sync, our hands burying in one another's hair as the kiss deepened. My tongue barely swept across the bottom of her silky smooth lip before her mouth was opening and I was eagerly exploring the velvety orifice.

For seconds, minutes, hours, days; I have no idea how long we were like that, but when we finally broke apart I felt like I was weightless and my brain was foggy with euphoria.

From the glazed look in Rosalie's eyes and the grin she wore on her face, I could only assume she felt the exact same way I did.

Slowly, she stood and held her hand out to me, a gentle smile on her face as she stared expectantly. Without hesitation I slid my hand into hers and let her pull me up from the ground.

"Will you stay, Bella?" She asked earnestly, eyes scanning my face for any sign of hesitancy.

I shook my head and couldn't help the wide smile that stretched across my face, "I'd be an idiot to leave after having spent all this time searching for you Rose."

I didn't know if things would work out, if our differences would be too much for us to handle or if my baggage would force whatever stability we established to crumble. But, with her hand in mine and the taste of her lips on mine, I couldn't make myself worry too much.

I had spent over eighty years looking for her, holding on to the hope that she was still alive and doing well and I would be remiss if I let her slip through my fingers again just because I couldn't loosen the grip my past had on me.

I had loved Rosalie since I met her at the age of seven and I had a feeling that I would continue to love her until I met my final death. Whether she felt the same way had yet to be determined but if that kiss was any indicator, I had a feeling that the odds were definitely in my favor.


End file.
